NARAHARI MISHRA
Died-8th June 2009
A man who was so calm and composed yet so determined that he took away his life only to help his family not to suffer for his illness. When we came to Rourkela 30 years back if we knew anyone from Niyati's side it was Narahari Mishra, Kuna's husband. Kuna was Niyati's Mamu's daughter and was close to her. I had my apprehensions about Kuna and her family as at that time, I was not at all accepted in Niyati's family at Balasore. But once I entered their house and met this gentleman who was Kuna's husband, my ideas changed and I knew that I am into a long relationship with him and his family. He was in a job in the steel plant and was the head of 4 families where his 2 other brothers and his widowed elder sister-in-law were staying with their families. I still don't know of any such joint family living under one roof at Rourkela till now. After repeated visits to Narahari Bhaina's place I was convinced that it was Kuna and her two other sister-in-laws who were so selfless that they continued at one place for more tan a quarter century and that too towards the end of 20th century. They parted ways after Narahari Bhaina retired and took a house in Koelnagar. Both his daughters are well educated and married and have their respective families in Delhi and Newzealand. Bhaina and Kuna had a relatively peaceful life despite chronic illness of Narahari Bhaina which was probably more of psychological origin. He was always lean and thin and had constipation and indigestion that led him to visit many doctors in Kolkata, Velore, Delhi and Bangalore. He even enrolled in naturopathy clinics in Bangalore for months to get some relief for his chronic ailments. But what shattered him psychologically was that he was diagnosed to have bladder cancer last September. He went to his elder daughter Minu in Delhi where his son-in-law Kishore got him the best treatment from Fortis. But when he was given some local injections in his bladder after surgery, it crossed the blood-brain barrier because of his low immunological status for poor general health and he became psychotic. He was brought back to Rourkela in a state of agitation and incoherence last December which he could never remember. But with his whole family standing behind him(Giridhari Nana, Budha, Aloka Nani, Mina and many others) he started improving. On 31st May he was shown to an Urologist who came from Kolkata in a local hospital and his resurgent tumor mass was excised through cystoscope. But somehow, he had a feeling that he is depending too much on others for his survival which had no meaning at the age of 72 years and dared to take his life on 8th June morning. It was not his intention but I know what a great trauma it has been for his entire family and extended family that spans across continets.
Right from day one when we met at his Sector-19 residence,he has liked me and I also liked him and it was with that confidence we both always valued each others opinion. Might be he felt that life was not worth living and took his own life. Might be he is right in his decision but I feel I have not been able to diagnose his depression for years which he always described as indigestion. He always agreed to my opinion that we don't have control over everything and we have to accept His decree. I accept Bhaina's tragic demise as His decree and pray God to rest his soul in peace.
On 26th June SANJAY MISHRA(Bapi) sent the following mail
May I also share few things about him….
I lost my father when I was only 7yrs.However I have never been devoid of love, affection, caring during my growing days into adolescence. He rarely interacted with us(brothers & sisters), but his mere presence taught us the discipline. My mother being widow always looked forward to him for any important decision or opinion.
On 7th June, we discussed about the nature of death of his elder brothers & even mercy death. He was watching T20 cricket without sound. He asked me to do his last rites. Probably something was reeling in his mind. I took leave from koel nagar forgetting to touch his feet. I returned back & touched his feet & took his blessing....for the last time. May be some sort of telepathy. I reached my place at 7am & at around 10.40am I got the news of his demise. I was stunned....The next hour or two I was analyzing & weighing his act.
He had a passion to reach to the roots. He knew his body better than any body knows. He tried many a medicine, treatment but his body never responded. This time his body& soul both responded...at his last attempt. Even this act has prompted medical books to be reviewed.
Probably he was a man with immense intriguing & analytical mind.
Probably he has contributed the most towards making of family values.
Probably one of the best mathematics teacher.
Probably an ardent follower of cricket.
Probably he was way ahead of his time.
Probably he was obsessed with detail.
Probably he felt he has become a liability.
Probably he found life in death.
Probably he was right.
Because he realized Life is relative, Death is absolute.
We all will miss him very much. May his soul rest in peace & bless us.
Bapi
